I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
two words: eviction party
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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