you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
