is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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