You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize