went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I am midnight drunk by noon
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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