Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
