Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
