Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
