its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
