Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize