never play flip cup with pint glasses
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
