I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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