UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
