bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
