I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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