He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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