He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
