I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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