so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
