first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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