this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
