He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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