Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
