I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
