you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
They have beer where we have blood.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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