Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
