Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
