College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize