worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
