you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Text me some of your sweat
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
