you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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