so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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