So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
