How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
