You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
