we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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