Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
tell me about the fingering
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