with your own penis?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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