I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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