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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually

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• (510): View more from California

  you told grandpa to call you daddy

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up

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• (805): View more from California

  You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor

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• (714): View more from California

  Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick

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