I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
