Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize