he thought i was a dude.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
