BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize