too bad you live with your parents still
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So many bounce houses so little time
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
