He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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