My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
