the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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