let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
