ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize