Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
