I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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