Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
