I puked a lego.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
