I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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