Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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