Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
