she was so not down for the gang bang
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
