great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
