What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
