You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
