I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
