Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
