She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
