No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
