i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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