so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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