Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
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