This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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