Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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